Fingers crossed, prayers sent, and 10 days to go...

I have been hopeful, positive and happy. This month of "practicing" (less pressure than the term "trying") has been one of the best, in that it felt like the days before baby talk. It doesn't hurt that my husband has been more on board with increasing our chances due to less stress from work, for now. With all this wonderful and blissful change, the tide has turned a bit and anxiety is setting in...I really don't want to see another negative test. Time for some positive thoughts and prayers.

4 days out...

I feel very proud of myself. I have not taken a pregnancy test! I'm about 4 days out from my expected cycle and a "Know 6 Days Early" test is still under the bathroom sink. The tough part is as my cycle approaches I am becoming hyper-critical of any changes I feel. I have a hunch I am not pregnant, none of the tell tales I had during my previous pregnancy, but I am still hopeful. All pregnancies are different right? I am taking some precautions, but still enjoying an occasional beer or glass of wine and a cup of coffee each morning. If I give it all up, the negative pregnancy test brings even more sadness. A least if the test is negative, I don't feel as if I changed my life completely or popped up on anyone's prego radar. If it is positive, I am still too early for the baby to be linked up to my system for any damage to occur. Win-Win.

It guess it looks like I am still juggling a few fertility balls, but not nearly as many as I had up before. I am still feeling good, so good in fact my husband has been asking me what's making me so giddy. I am just happy.